Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
