you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Call me immediately, my only recent boy news involves me biting a dick.
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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