No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
because whats more american than sleeping with a westpoint cadet on the 4th of july?
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
