I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
There's nothing like sitting directly behind someone you fucked 5 years ago at church on Easter Sunday
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
Got stoned and went to Walmart. For some reason a preacher walked up and asked if I knew the lord so I just yelled "I CAN FEEL HIM IN MY VIENS" at the top of my lungs. he left after that.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
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