"it" just moved
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
you will always have a special place in my vag
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
Okay so for future reference and your own safety I should probably tell you that it is not cranberry juice in that bottle on the kitchen table.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
I made out with a guy so that I could get ahead in the bathroom line, totally acceptable
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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