I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
