that's an acceptable place to lick
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I feel violated. a guy just did an ultrasound on my balls. He made eye contact..
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Randomize
