My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
He told me he felt like he was just pistol-whipped by Testicle Man.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
Randomize
