I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
I think I sprained my soul last night
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Randomize
