I think I died a long time ago.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Alive.
So much puke
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
