Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
As I was leaving the drunk tank the cop told me he had a feeling we would be meeting again real soon.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
When you put it that way it sounds like my vagina is a parking garage to be monitored by security guards
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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