I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
