Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
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