lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Stranded. In bathroom stall. No toilet paper. I repeat NO TOILET PAPER! Assistance needed asap. GO! GO! GO!
I boned my sugar daddy for the first time yesterday and now I know why they say guys in their 40s are the best. Also I’m getting a car.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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