His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Using a miniature baseball bat to kill a mosquito in the house may not have been the most efficient or safest way, but that thing is fucking dead. However, so are three wine glasses, a lamp, and my baseball bat privileges. Worth it.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
Also there's a home game tomorrow and I thought about holding up a sign that says, "I madeout with #64 during orientation week" would that be inappropriate??
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
Randomize
