Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
