That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
Found the puke drawer
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
That awkward moment when you realize that last night you walked from in n out to petco, bought a mouse for $3, named it mogar, taught it how to skateboard on a techdeck, made it a home out of a trash can, fed it fruity pebbles and cheese, and then forgot where you left it.
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Randomize
