He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
