plz talk dirty to me
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
sticking your hands in the toilet to wash your face is not acceptable. ever. i don't care how drunk you are.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Also I think he would slowly, painfully, die. You really can't live without a penis. You'd explode.
He referred to his penis as "a gentle giant" and said I had offended it
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
Just saw a dude dressed as captain america driving down the highway. He saluted me.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
I left after he drunkenly went into the kitchen and started to make eggs with a shitload of garlic. First time I'd ever had a makeout session interrupted by eggs.
Randomize
