loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
you kept say ridiculous things then repeating them in perfect classical latin. You are onee intelligent drunk
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
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