Betty ford says i'm here all night
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
as nice as a boyfriend sounds, a relationship would require morals and self-restraint - both fields in which i lack.
momma always taught us never to change for a boy..
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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