We named our party play list daddy issues
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
On a scale of "impaired judgement" to "Mel Gibson," how drunk are you?
Toaster
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
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