You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
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