One girl and one boy is just not enough.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
This is going to ruin my future wedding planner career, but isn't it better the groom knows he's gay BEFORE he gets married?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
Why were there just 3 inflatable bounce houses delivered to my house?
oh shit.
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
Randomize
