If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
remember tomorrow: you burned the inside of your nose with incense. it hurt.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Randomize
