Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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