Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
I just followed up on a noise complaint...only to find 2 girls in bikinis covered in jello with beer cans everywhere. I couldn't bring myself to bust that party.
I want to be a cop.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
His dog ate the vibrator. The WHOLE vibrator. We spend the morning after trying to make it vomit up the battery. Why does this always happen to me?
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
