Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
There is something about listening to Patsy Cline while pooping that makes the experience so much better.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
woke up and you werent here...its ok if we're never going to speak again but my furry hand cuffs are missing and i would like them back. thanks.
Randomize
