Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
and then she said I drew a line on her forehead with my cum and whispered "Simba"
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
What’s the level of adulting when you reschedule a dentist appointment to have a threesome?
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
