I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
His drunk text included an attempt at quoting a Nyquil bottle in MLA format
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
I would fuck him just for his dog
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
how is it I left wearing underwear then ended up with none? and why is it they are on you?
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
