Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Oh fuck, I'm officially a cougar..he's got the same name as my grandson
Randomize
