to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
You emptied out your taco and asked the lady for a refill...and then you continued to carry out a full conversation SCREAMING
Apparently it is impossible to get kicked out of taco bell....I'll try harder next time
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
I bet I give better head than any other PTA mom.
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
i swear a herd of elephants who like to smoke weed lives directly above our room
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
