Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Nobody is wearing shirts anymore. What is happening.
should my penis look like a turkey
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
Randomize
