She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Should I wear my "kiss me I'm highrish" shirt for my drug screen today?
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
Get your heels and tits on! I’m not wasting a Brazilian because his fucking kid ate paste or Legos and ruined an afternoon suite sex and room service
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