My girlfriend figured out who you are.
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize