she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
They all laughed at me when I bought that necklace from Life Alert. Who's laughing now?
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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