he wants to bone in the snuggie
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Just reminding you that you are currently drunk spooning a chair saying it "loves you unconditionally". No more rum.
I don't think tits should taste like fish.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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