Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
Randomize
