Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
some old guy just shit himself in my section. everyones leaving
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
theres 2 cans of open Campbell's soup on the counter and a note that says "guess which one is puke" ... want lunch?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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