I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
All I remember is lecturing my dog about how she's a lucky bitch to have a structured eating and shitting schedule.
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
I'm sobbing to NWA
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize