You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
