He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize