whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
What's the over under on catching something from your sister?
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
He was trying to talk to me about standards while he had a french fry box on his hand like a glove and was using it to flatten his cheeseburger.
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
Randomize
