New invention idea: vibrating tampons
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
Guys, Black Friday does not exist in the world of dealing. Stop texting me asking what my deals are.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
The twitch Bob Ross stream is the happiest little hangover cure ever.
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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