I only gave you my number because I thought fat people were jolly
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I jacked off with the cucumber and then made that fatass a salad.
you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
we tried have sex after i gave him a handjob. he wouldnt get hard and kept saying his little boy is broken.. please come get me
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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