All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Sorry I drunkenly insulted your air mattress last night. You still could have fucked me on it though.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Not sure how but he broke three of his fingers while giving a blowjob. How does someone that accident prone survive to adulthood?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Randomize
