We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
At least I'm doing lines with a notecard. That counts for something right
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Randomize