What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
Friday was tragic. I was naked on top of him and he didn't have a condom. Oh and he had an Obama poster on the wall in front of his bed so our president was staring down at me while I was naked. I felt sorta bad.
You should've just screamed yes we can!
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
Randomize
