the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I heard drunk is the new sober. I heard me say that. To a cop. Can you come get me??
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
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