Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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