i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I'm sorry I put you in the washing machine. I honestly thought you would fit.
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
Randomize