We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
bro i dont care how hot she was, you try keeping it up with the amount of puppet he had in her room, it was like fucking in jeff dunham's house
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
she went outside...danced, got some snow, and put cherry vodka in it. she was so proud of herself.
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
