4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
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I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
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All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
Well in other news, my nipples are healing pretty well but next time I get drunk and decide to pierce something please for the love of god stop me!
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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