No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
I CRIED after phone sex. Am I gay?
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
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