I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I buy you gas. You blow me. Economics.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
