"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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