I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Randomize
